Sorry I've been away......

Well, let me first say that I sure have missed reading the blogs of my favorites!  I have been out with a back injury that unfortunately will cause me to have surgery in 2 weeks.  Enough of that blah stuff.  Let me share with you some of the things I've missed telling you about.  I had an exciting yet tiring weekend last weekend. My sweet girl performed in her 5th year of dance recital.  It was beautiful, she has been working extremely hard since September for this very special weekend. She takes hip~hop, ballet, tap and jazz.  Its amazing for me to see how much she has grown over the years.  The days of her wanting to be mommies little girl are numbered, she is growing into a beautiful young lady with a heart of gold.  I don't think I have ever seen a child so caring as her.  If she sees me sad or upset she always has a hug and a big kiss with the sweet little words, mommy it will be okay!  Its like she is my little coach, my little cheerleader all wrapped in a sweet little package.  I tell you there is no greater joy than being mom!

With all that being said, this weekend I am determined to work on my blog and get it looking more sassy.....I need a little sass!  I got great ideas and help from my lovely friends over at blogfrog....if you haven't joined yet you must go take a peak, you don't know what you're missing!!!!

Lesson's Learned

Have you ever sat and thought: "I never thought this is the way my life would turn out?"  I have often pondered on this thought and I have wished that I could turn back time and make different choices.  I have learned a lot from mistakes that I have made and learned even more from people that I counted on's mistakes as well.  The lessons have been hard and I often wonder what am I suppose to learn from this?  I also ask how many more lessons am I going to have to go through before I can stop learning?  I have learned that you can't make someone love you no matter how much you try, you can't change a person or go back in time and relive the fun times.  People do change their minds about promises made and I also now know that promises are made to be broken.   The sad part of all of this is that I always seem to be on the receiving end, or shall I say I am the student, not the educator.  I have also learned that I care too much about people who could careless about me or my well being.   I hope after all the lessons that I have learned that I will be able to teach or shall I say warn my daughter of these lessons, before she has to go through all that I have.  The most important lesson I have learned is......Life Goes On! 

Planning my 8 year old daughter's birthday party

Well, this year I have been at a loss for ideas for her party.  I asked my blogger friends over at BlogFrog for ideas, which helped me tremendously.  This year we still have the favorite colors of bright blue and bright green, which were the colors of last year's party too.  She loves the peace sign, I guess all the kids her age are really into it right now.  Funny how things always come back in style.  We are having a two layer Bright Blue and Bright Green Peace sign cake.  Then she is going to have 8 of her dear little friends come over for a night of sleep over madness.  LOL!  So, I decided going with the cake that it would be fun for the girls to make tie dye t-shirts!  Yes I am feeling brave.  Then on Saturday I am taking them skating!  I will be one tires little chick come Saturday night, but she will only be 8 once.  Time really has flown by.  When she was just a baby, I don't think I every thought she was really going to grow up and be her own person.  I sure will miss the times that she wants to cuddle and to just lay with me and talk. Hopefully, those days will not end anytime soon.  

I got my new Nikon camera so I will be able to post lots and lots of pictures soon.  I also ordered some new books on how to blog.  I want my space to be as inviting and interesting as the ones I follow.  This new hobby has been a blessing to me.  It really gives me lots to do and think about.  Thanks fellow blogger's!  

Pictures with 5 Little 8 Year Old Dancers

Let me start with saying that was not fun!!!!  There are 5 little girls the "BFF"S" that have been together since they were one.  They have danced together for the last 5 years, with that being said you're getting the background to the story.  The mom's got together and decided to put an ad in the recital program for them as a group.  I was in charge of taking the picture.  First of I all I needed a ladder to get the "head shot" that we were looking for, I'm scared to death of heights.  So I'm up on this tall ladder looking down at the girls as my knees are shaking.  It was quite comical.  One would move, one would close their eyes, one would frown, you get the point.  But needless to say I finally got that one perfect shot.  Whew!  That was some work.  Its amazing to look back over the years and see just how much these 5 little ladies have grown into such beautiful individuals.  I feel blessed to be able to be a part of each of their lives.  They all have very special unique personalities that have just meshed in such a loving, beautiful friendship that I think will be one that will last forever!

Easter Blessings

This Easter my daughter and I went with my parents to the beach.  It was a very fun trip.  I can't say that we relaxed a lot, since Bailey has to always be on the go (LOL).  One thing that I did miss this Easter was attending a church service.  Just to tell you a little more about why I feel this way.  Well, I was with my husband for a total of 14 years and during the 14 years I can count on one hand how many times he went to church with me.  Shortly after we separated I decided I needed to get back into church and raise my daughter as I was, in church.  I also had came to the realization that I was going no where fast and that the only way out of my deep, deep hole would be to return to God.  I knew I needed a marriage that had God as its center, but me being young thought I would worry about changing him later.  Well, we all know that does not ever happen.  I know in order for me to be the parent that God intended me to be I have to find my purpose.  So I have really turned myself and my daughter to God.  I would love to say that I am finally in the place I am meant to be, but I can't.  God isn't finished with me yet.  I have been in the deepest despair that you could ever imagine, I would honestly cry out for God to just take me away from the pain. But no he ignored that cry and I am so thankful that he did.  Its funny I use to wonder sometimes how do I know when God is talking to me, what does he want me to hear?  Well I have found 2 times recently that my daughter has given me his message....  The first time we were riding home from dance class and she said "mommy don't be sad....God took Daddy away from us, because he knew daddy was mean to us and he has something better in mind for us."  I almost slammed on the breaks and just cried.  Here I am sad, crying, depressed wondering how I deserved all of this and there was my answer from my 7 year old little girl.....I know that I may not understand now what those reason are or have the answer to all my why's, but one day God will show me.  He is just preparing me now.  The 2nd time God has spoken to me through Bailey was this past weekend.  We were out on the beach taking pictures with the white dress and barefoot in the sand; you know the ones.  Well I asked her to write her name in the sand and I was going to take a picture of it and put it with the others.  Well, I am over there trying to get just the right angle when I notice she is writing something else.  When I go over to my surprise a 7 year old has written "Love will find you".  I said Bailey where did you hear that, who told you that?  She said I just know....  I'm like wow....another message from God.  I truly do long to have a husband who adores me and my daughter.  A house that will feel more like a home with a loving family inside.  I do want these things, as I see many friends take these specials moments with their families for granted.  It makes me want to say hey, have you ever stopped for a second to think about what it would feel like to wake up one day and all that be gone....Well I did and it is no joke.  It smacks you in the face like a ton of bricks and it is something that will take me a long time to get over.  So, I do pray that God will send that man to me, the one who is Godly in his ways, leader of the family without being controlling, someone to love my Bailey as his own.  Maybe this was just one way of God reaching out to me once again.  It was very touching to me and I am still reflecting on it.  I am trying to tell myself life is short, everything doesn't have to be perfect and to enjoy the little things like that big hug that my daughter gives me so often.  I hope that this has reached someone that is in the same situation that I am in. Things will get better, I just need to be patient!

A day in the life of "B" & Me

This is my first attempt at blogging.  I actually just realized what blogs were and how interesting it was to read about others idea's and lives.  So with that being said I thought why not give this blogging thing a try.  I think this will be a fun way to express, vent, create and meet lots of great new "blogging friends".  So cut me some slack and give me some time to get use to this, so if at first I bore you please hang in there with me and come back and visit me.  I promise it will be a fun adventure worth taking!

Just to tell you a little about me and my daughter Bailey.  I am a single mom of a sassy soon to be 8 year old.  She is my world and I thank God every day that I was given the chance to be her mommy.  She has been the light in my darkest days that is for sure.  Its funny how you think you are at your last straw and how out of no where they pop up with the sweetest smile, hug or just reassurance that you are doing a great job.  Its tough being a parent these days, but even tougher doing it alone.  She loves to sing and dance and I love to watch her "performances" that she has in her bedroom.  Those are memories that I will never forget.  She takes ballet, tap, jazz and hip- hop dance classes, which she has enjoyed the last 5 years.  I am so proud to see her improvement every year.  I thought I would share a little with you  about my "world" my Bailey........  I included a photo of her last year before her recital.....such a sassy little lady......